I remember when we were all 6 year olds and we were realizing that we weren't going to marry Cinderella's Prince Charming and we would have to actually set standards for ourselves. And as we grow and mature they change from physical to inward and we develop this list. And this list is wholesome and strong before we have our first relationship because we have total faith in guys. We have faith in finding a guy who will text us a good morning paragraph and take us on picnics. Then, we get into the real world and realize the truth.
The truth is we are too impressionable. I remember my first list of standards and the notebook it would have taken to write out. And I remember my first boyfriend and how that one guy changed all my standards for the worse.
Let's just say that it is true that eventually we will all find a guy to treat us like the Princesses that we are. And don't start with the "my past doesn't make me worthy" because I will beg to differ. You see, especially as teenagers, we are at a place where the males our age aren't thinking about the same kind of relationship that we are and this leads to a huge conflict. We become passive because we are all told that being single stinks. Especially with media shoving the relationships being a necessity down our throats. We give up our day dreams and sink below level ground with the male species to make sure that we get what we see on ABC Family (because if you're not following one of their shows, who are you?)
Anyway, we don't have patience and we let go of these high hopes and we settle for the very minimum of what guy will give us. I'm guilty of it and so many people around me are too that do not even see it, They can't. We use excuses to blind ourselves and hide the fact that we are selling ourselves short of what we are worth. I think the saddest part is that sometimes, you can do this consciously and not end the relationship.
I was disappointed from day one. I didn't like how I was being treated or the answers I was being given to the questions I asked. From the very first day the interaction between us was unsatisfying to my needs for intellect and conversation. Yet I stayed for longer than I should yet luckily not long enough to do any harm.
But what is it that makes girl so desperate to find romance that we will give up everything that we are searching for? I can't tell you the right answer. Or the scientific truth. But I can tell you that being desperate for love doesn't make you look good. That crawling to a guy just to keep "In a relationship" on a profile is never going to get you the relationship that you really want. Because it's at these moments when you're standards have dissolved to nearly nothing.
What happened to the standards that we use to have before our hearts were broken? The long lists of things that our boyfriend MUST do our we would certainly dump him. Where did they go? Since when was it okay to let in all of these excuses. When did we start crossing things of like controlling and sex before marriage. Sure, culture is that way but why do we have to be. Or this whole thing how guys can pick what we do with our lives. For goodness sakes we're teens!
I wish we could go back to when our visions of how teenage boys weren't so tainted and then maybe we could hold up the high standards that we use to have. But instead, I guess we are left with a fight on our hands. Instead of easily saying what we want and saying goodbye the moment that we don't get it, we settle and it's wrong. We are all special and we deserve the very best. And maybe we can't find the very best right now and we need to recognize that it's okay.
So instead of settling for the things that are not too much to ask for, why don't we bring back our standards that were high and had expectations? Why don't we start looking for guys who will leave us alone for girls night, keep date night at the top of their schedule, watch The Notebook, meet our parents, hold our hands in public, make "us" public, and go on walks. Why don't we ask for the little things beyond texting and a date every now and then. We can make these standards, keep these standards, and not settle for anything less.
No comments:
Post a Comment